No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
