i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
