I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
