You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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