Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Randomize
