fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
