Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
