He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
