So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
