Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
