I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
