dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Randomize
