my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Randomize
