yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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