Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I stole a fireplace last night.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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