nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
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