ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
You ruined the universe
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
