then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
