The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
