He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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