we're blogging at a bar
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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