My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
