When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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