how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
