i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
