I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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