Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I am mentally ready for anal.
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