So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
