We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
it's great music for shaving your balls
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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