i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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