This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
