I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
porn star boner night. come get it.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
