I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
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