Whod you bang
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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