Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
