I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
