Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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