absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
