no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Randomize
