After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
