Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
