is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Bring me that man meat
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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