someone threw a dead crab at me
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
