You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
