He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Randomize
