i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
