Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
