Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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