Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
