I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
