splinters make it hard to masturbate
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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