i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
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